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INHERITANCE... A potentially harmful legacy A "tablet" from the on-going INTERNET BOOK, "The Doctor's Terrific Tablets", ( http://www.terrific-tabs.com ) by John N. Todd III, M. D. (link)
Supplemented or "doctored".... 2/03; 3/03; 8/03; 9/03; 1/04; 2/18-25/04; 3/04; 7/04; 2/06; 4/22/06; 6/23/07 CLICK HERE to go to the "FRONT PAGE" of "The Doctor's Terrific Tablets" CLICK HERE for ALPHABETICAL INDEX of this entire WEBSITE CLICK HERE to EMAIL your thoughts to the author III. INHERITANCE A section from NORTONIUS'S advice to his children (link) Ecclesiastes 2: 18 (NRSV) I hated all my toil in which I had toiled under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to those who come after me.... 19 and who knows whether they will be wise or foolish? Yet they will be master of all for which I toiled and used my wisdom, under the sun. This also is vanity. 20 So I turned and gave my heart up to despair concerning all the toil of my labors under the sun, 21 because sometimes one who has toiled with wisdom and knowledge and skill must leave all to be enjoyed by another.... who did not toil for it. This also is vanity and a great evil. 22 What do mortals get from all the toil and strain with which they toil under the sun? 23 For all their days are full of pain.... and their work is a vexation. Even at night, their minds do not rest. This also is vanity. 24 There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God; 25 for apart from Him, who can eat, or who can have enjoyment? Everyone should live his or her life as though there will never, ever be a financial or material enrichment.... based upon the DEATH of a member of the family. IF a member of your family, during his or her lifetime, or in a last-will-and-testament, voluntarily chooses to share a portion of his assets with you.... be grateful. But.... never give the impression that you are being "nice", and helpful, and "loving", to an elder member of your family (or to your "in-laws").... in hopeful anticipation of an early post-mortem, un-earned benefit to you.... yourself. Parents have no obligation to "pass-on" their life's earned assets to their offspring. Similarly, a bequest from your parents, or from your "in-laws".... is not an ENTITLEMENT to you. Nortonius firmly believes that the hope of enrichment related to inheritance, after the DEATH of a "dear-one", deprives the potential beneficiary of ambition.... and depletes the hopeful recipient's "drive" to succeed. Furthermore, the promise of un-earned (or un-deserved) riches may lead an individual to waste his own current income.... like throwing-away his cash on alcohol, or gambling.... or useless trips-and-travel.... or huntin'-and-fishin'. You, dear "children", must IGNORE ALL plans and hopes of financial gain related to INHERITANCE.... You must not count-on inheriting anything. Don't envision your own early-retirement, or enhancement of your personal "estate".... by depending-upon a death-acquisition of someone else's "earthly possessions".... which you hope and plan to possess -- for yourself. IF something "good" or comforting comes to you, because of someone else's DEMISE.... then enjoy your "fate".... but do NOT construct the success of your middle and late years, with a "sweepstakes" dream of financial "comfort" and security.... based upon the hopefully-anticipated "departure" of someone in your family. PLAN your life, and your WORK, and your efforts, and your HABITS, and your SAVINGS, and your personal INVESTING.... as if there will be absolutely no inheritance. AND.... remember this: It is much better to have aging parents that are "comfortably independent" with their own assets.... than it is to have poverty-stricken parents who are "hostilely dependent".... on you ! ! ! Maria Filisia (Nortonius's wife) adds a very important point, about "inheritance". If someone's parents have no residual "wealth" to share or "pass-on".... then the "heirs" have no reason to ponder Nortonius's advice about inheritance. That is, if there is no significant estate for the heirs to inherit.... then the heirs who are mature and proper and "caring" must develop and rely-upon "love", obligation, respect, understanding, genuine affection, "gratitude", responsibility, charity, and "religious" duty.... or PITY.... to generate a caring concern and "interaction" between the offsprings, and their aging parents. III B. GIFTS from Nortonius, and from Maria Filisia.... to our offspring.... during our lifetimes. (Pre-DEATH gifts, legacies, and patrimony as a part of Nortonius's children's "INHERITANCE".) 9/2/03; 9/5/03; 9/11/03; 9/13/03; 2/17/04; 2/21/04; 2/23/04; 7/17/04.... The following is an "afterthought" that Maria Filisia and I decided to "insert" at this point in this lengthy document. We like to think that our most valuable LEGACY to our children began when Filisia and I were placed.... by God.... into each others lives. Our "children" have already been the "beneficiaries" of countless blessings from God (genetically-induced blessings). Maria Filisia and I realize that we had very little to do with most of these blessings.... we have simply served as "God's hands".... for His purpose, and intention. (See link What do you posses that you did not receive as a gift.) There is no need for our four offspring to await our demise, in order to receive a huge "inheritance" from Nortonius and Filisia. (And, incidentally, Filisia and I have recalled a fascinating truth.... the fact that both she and I, as we were being "raised" in our own early families, long before we met each other.... were the "beneficiaries" of almost exactly the same "huge inheritance" from our own parents, before their deaths, that we have "passed-on" to our offspring during our lifetime.... an "inheritance" that is described, below.) Consider the following unbelievably rich "legacy", which Nortonius and Maria Filisia received from their parents.... and which has already been bestowed upon each of our 4 children: Our children were born in the United States of America. Our children have lived almost all their lives in Alabama, in "The South".... thank goodness. Our children were "born white" to "white" parents (not Oriental, African, Indian, Hispanic). (We realize, of course, that no one in our family had any part in choosing the color of our skin; or our "nation-of-origin".) Our children were born with (they "inherited") healthy and attractive bodies, and good "teachable" minds. Our children were born to parents who are "spiritually" oriented.... parents who have regularly attended "church".... parents who accompanied their children to Sunday School, and church.... virtually every Sunday. Our children were born to parents who have been long-time, serious students of "religion", spiritual development, and the Bible. Our children were born to parents who did not leave their children in the care of other people. (Our children, until they were nearly grown, accompanied us on virtually every trip or vacation that we ever took.) Our children were born to intelligent and well-schooled parents.... who spent endless hours instructing the children in reading, and math, and "English".... long before the children attended school. Our children were born to parents who know and understand and write and speak virtually flawless English. Our children were born to parents who have always emphasized "brain-exercise" for themselves, and for their children.... including much reading, original writing, detailed study, and contemplation. Our children were born to parents who stay "involved" with current events, politics, and the economy. Our children were born to parents who never had psychological ailments, or psychiatric illness. Our children were born to parents who have never smoked.... never consumed alcohol or drugs.... and who have never wasted time and money on gambling. Our children were born to parents who have always participated in a daily, planned, physical exercise program. Our children were born to parents who have always been "diet conscious", and who have always controlled their body-weight within narrow and normal limits. (See link: Weight-control and Dieting, by John N. Todd III, M. D.) Our children were born to parents who were always gainfully employed.... frequently seven-days-a-week.... parents who understand the necessity of full-time work in order to succeed, and to be able to afford and acquire special luxuries, and to be "happy". (Maria Filisia has proven herself, for a lifetime, to be an absolutely indefatigable worker.) Our children were born to parents who have always saved and invested.... and who have zealously avoided DEBT. Yes, our children were indeed BORN rich.... rich in the things of life that really matter. (Filisia has noted that an offspring's awareness of these inbred and innate "legacies" should logically be expected to impose upon an intelligent "recipient" an appreciation of his or her "inheritance".... and an understanding of the necessity of responding appropriately to those pre-ordained gifts and blessings.... and the importance of "utilizing" correctly the wealth of these "inborn" assets.) From God's Bible: Luke 12: 48 (NRSV) Jesus speaking: "From everyone to whom much has been GIVEN, much will be REQUIRED (link).... and from the one to whom much has been entrusted.... even more will be demanded." (And. see link Individuation by God.) We will add to this interpolated section on "pre-death" legacy, as other thoughts come to mind. Now, I want to share more of Nortonius's Notions.... about our history of sharing our monetary and "physical" assets, during our lifetimes, with our "children" (and their spouses, where applicable}. I will mention certain valuable gifts.... one or more brand-new cars, for each of our children; personal trucks from Nortonius; Rolexes (men's "Presidential", and women's "Lady President"); expensive computers; annual trips to the Masters Golf Tournament, at our expense; top-of-the-line Western boots; YachtClub initiation fees, and monthly costs; yearly season-tickets to University-of-Alabama basketball games; costly holiday presents, and special-occasion gifts; jewelry (Mikimoto pearls, beautiful high-priced diamond crosses, etc.); cameras (like a Nikon F3 and an F4, and Sony digital cameras for each offspring); paintings (Basil Ede, Rick Rush, James Conner); funding of "individual retirement accounts", at our expense, for two of our "children"; converting ownership of valuable rental property to each of our offsprings; and funding individual "irrevocable trusts", for each of our children, by tranferring very significant portions of our personal assets to these "trusts". The children of Nortonius and Maria Filisia attended private K-12 schools. Our children attended private colleges; and never incurred any cost or debt to themselves. (Our two daughters "dropped-out" of college.... for matrimony.) Earlier in the lives of our family, my wife and I and our four children enjoyed the following marvelous blessings: 1. We made 14 annual week-long luxurious summer-trips to the resort area, "Callaway Gardens". in Georgia. 2. We purchased a costly 18-foot "Cobalt" power-boat, and kept it at a large local lake, in a dry-dock for safe-keeping.... and my wife and I personally "learned-with", and instructed our children in water-skiing.... and safe-driving of the speed-boat. 3. At one time, our children owned and operated seven motor-bikes.... all "housed" at our residence in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. 4. We purchased a four-bedroom house on the Gulf of Mexico, at Panama City beach, so that our family could enjoy this marvelous area, any time, at our own leisure.... at no cost to the "children". 5. We bought and developed, along with the company and participation of our children, two farms (one 160 acres [Hale County]; the other 205 acres [Bibb County]).... each with a "livable" house, where we frequently stayed overnight and weekends. Our family planted more than 2000 apple-trees, and 200 Santa Rosa plum trees at our Bibb County farm. We bought two new Ford tractors.... one for each farm.... and all of us learned to drive tractors, and to "BushHog".... on both farms.... and we all learned to use large augers to plant fruit trees. The younger members of our family frequently spent much time cruising on their motor-bikes, on these farms. These facts are being recalled and mentioned, so that "all-concerned", in our family, can be reminded.... and remember the history of our "pre-death" voluntary sharing and giving to those who, thankfully, were "placed", by God, in our lives. Sometimes, recently, Nortonius and Maria Filisia have felt that the recipients of our frequent gifts to our offspring (now grown) and their spouses, have become more resentful than appreciative of our "generosity". In some cases, there seems to be an "expectant" attitude.... as if some beneficiaries are wondering "why don't you do more for me, now?" Or, "I want your stored assets now -- not when I'm 50 or 60 years old." (This perceived-attitude toward us parents, the "seniors", can be very distressing.... and may generate an element of "resistance" on our part.... if not a frank ill-will toward a hopeful "receiver".) My wife and I have developed a fuller understanding and appreciation of our own Toddian adage: "The more we give-away.... the more we take-away". Later, in a section of this document, Nortonius and Filisia also wants to explain.... for those in the family who haven't yet "gotten the message".... the importance that we place upon consideration of death, disease, disability, debt, divorce, and delayed gratification.... in the lives of our offspring, and their spouses.... as we contemplate sharing our assets with the potential recipients of our gifts and bequests.... during our remaining years in this life-on-earth. Also, Nortonius will try to explain that "control" of our "grown" offspring, has NO PART in our thoughts about sharing our assets. (Of course, it goes without saying, that if one or more of our "beneficiaries" should become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or unreasonable debt.... or to uncompensated "idleness".... then our attitude would become drastically altered.... for we would not choose to participate in the financing of activites that we consider to be unacceptable, or intolerable to us.) Nortonius will attempt to show the correlation of our pre-death sharing, with our post-death bequests. Maria Filisia and Nortonius have always hoped to "share" with our offspring, in such a way that we do NOT HARM those who are the potential recipients of a portion of our assets. Nortonius wants to state again that there is absolutely NO entitlement, by anyone's "grown" offspring or their spouses, to receive a share of the assets of their parents, or their "in-laws". Nortonius and Filisia have always understood, during the early lives of our children, that there is obviously a requirement that we parents provide for the needs and logical wants of our children. Later, as our offsprings and we aged, we discovered that luxurious gifts may become a part of what all parents freely decide-upon, and lovingly supply to their offspring, early in their adult lives.... depending upon the relative wealth of the parents -- and clearly dependent upon the propriety of the behavior, responses, reinforcement, and gratitude of the "children" (offspring). Still later in our lives, we finally awakened and discovered that when "children" leave home, and develop their own lives, and professions, and plans, and income, and wealth.... there is no longer a need or necessity for the parents to continue showering their children with expensive gifts. During the early years of a child's life, a year-round "Santa-Claus-from-parents" is certainly proper, if affordable. Later, a Santa-Clausian attitude must be abandoned.... by parents and children.... except insofar as simple fun and pleasure and genuine LOVE may lead parent and child into a logical "swapping" of gifts.... and into a reciprocal interactive affection. There is absolutely NO life-long duty of parents to continue a one-way process of donating to their "children".... especially if some offsprings have learned to "expect" generous gifts from the parents.... an "expectation" even to the point that resentment develops in some offspring (and in "in-laws") if the process of receiving gifts from the parents is decreased, delayed, or curtailed. Nortonius and Maria Filisia have a particular aversion toward giving cash money to our offsprings, and/or their spouses. Cash, donated for a certain specific item, can sometimes be "diverted" by the recipient, to other expenditures.... like huge credit-card debt, or alcohol, or gambling. Furthermore, cash supplements in significant amounts (to a hopeful recipient) can lead to a lazy and non-productive IDLENESS (lack of gainful employment) on the part of the recipients. We have begun to realize, already, that the "passing-on" of our assets, while we remain alive (and cognizant), has generated varying degrees of hostility, anger, resentment, jealousy, greed, misunderstanding, and sibling-rivalry.... not only among our "children", but also in some others who are in our "extended family". In that regard, we must hasten to add, that some members in our family have responded to us, and with us.... in very, very appropriate (and caring) ways.... and we are extremely mindful of, and appreciative of, those individuals.... and we enjoy a reciprocal sharing with them. And so, Nortonius and Maria Filisia will soon (later) embark additionally on this prolonged expository.... explaining further that which has been laid-out in the few paragraphs, above. More will follow. 2/7/06; 6/23/07 |