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Nortonius's Advice to his own SONS and DAUGHTERS... and to other "children"... of ALL ages (JNT's response to Shakespeare's "POLONIUS's advice to his son") "Smart-Love" (With suggestions and reminders from Nortonius's wife since 1959 -- Maria Filisia.... who is also the mother of Nortonius's 4 offspring.) A "tablet" from the INTERNET BOOK, "The Doctor's Marvelous Medicine" ( http://www.terrific-tabs.com ) by John N. Todd III, M. D. (link)
Originated 11/16/02; "Doctored"... 11/02; 12/02; 1/03; 2/03; 3/1/03; 3/3/03; 3/8/03; 3/03; 5/03; 7/03; 8/03; 9/03; 10/03; 11/03; 2/04; 3/04; 7/04; 9/04; 1/05; 4/05; 11/05; 5/06; 11/15/06; 6/23/07 CLICK HERE to go to the "FRONT PAGE" of "The Doctor's Terrific Tablets" CLICK HERE for ALPHABETICAL INDEX of this entire WEBSITE CLICK HERE to EMAIL your thoughts to the author According to William Shakespeare (in "Hamlet"), POLONIUS advised his son, as follows: "These few precepts in thy memory See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue, Nor any unproportion'd thought his act. Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul, with hoops of steel; But do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatched, unfledg'd comrade. Beware Of entrance to a quarrel; but being in, Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice; Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment. Costly thy habit, as thy purse can buy; But not express'd in fancy.... rich, not gaudy; For the apparel oft proclaims the man. Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself, and friend; And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all.... to thine own self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." NORTONIUS's reply to POLONIUS: Dear POLONIUS.... the world has long enjoyed reviewing your "advice" for your son. Now, however, you must admit.... things are a good-bit different than they were in your day. Therefore, I have composed a few "upgraded" points of "advice" for our sons and daughters.... realizing, of course, that all of our 4 "children" are now "grown", and off our "payroll" (thankfully). Thus, even though our "offsprings" are no longer at home under my tutelage and "control".... I do have several points to recall.... "advice" that I (and Maria Filisia) attempted to instill in them, through the years. (My counsel to my family has always been "configured" by the lessons I have learned.... in my life's ongoing pilgrimage.) And so, Polonius, I thought that you (and perhaps others) might enjoy perusing and considering some of my 21st-century notions and "advice", for those who have been "placed" in my life. So, read on, Polonius.... and give my regards to Bill Shakespeare. Signed.... yo' buddy, NORTONIUS "Nortonius" is the "alter-ego" name of John Norton Todd III, the author of this website. The notes and remarks that are included below are ongoing.... and they may be temporary, transient, or fleeting.... and they will be edited, re-formatted, revised, supplemented, corrected, and re-phrased from time-to-time. I have chosen to "post" this page on my website now, in order to reveal my current personal views, and to share my attitudes and understanding.... with those who have been "given" to me. (Perhaps these remarks are expressed in a way that "Nortonius" would not declare.... vis-a-vis.... with those to whom he is addressing his thoughts.) No doubt, I will alter my views, and soften my expression, as time passes.... and as I become more informed.... by life and experience -- and by age, and "wisdom", and infirmity.... and by my own finitude. WATCH and FOLLOW the "development" of this "Nortonius's Advice".... and see how it "evolves", with time. Remember.... this "advice" is aimed mainly at the author's "offspring"; who, like all "children" (of any age), are frequently not particularly "receptive" to a FATHER'S "advice". I. "PRE-AMBULATION" of "Nortonius's Advice": NOW.... here begins "advice" from Nortonius, for his sons and daughters; and for their families.... and for those others who may be in our "sphere"..... and for anyone else who cares to listen, and "hear". This rhetorical "advice" is presented here, now, because a number of "developments" have transpired since "Polonius" offered "advice" to his son. This "advice", from Nortonius, is not intended to be "goody-goody", or condescending. This "wisdom" is being proffered at a time in the author's life when he is near the apex of his mountain.... looking back, and down -- reviewing the "peaks and valleys", and the stepping-stones (link) that were "placed" in his life.... and contemplating the nearby edge of the "precipice" of his existence.... in this world. IF you will "accept" and FOLLOW the forthcoming Nortonius's ADVICE.... the REWARDS are MANY.... and include ALL of the following: You will FEEL better; THINK better; LOOK better; PERFORM better; PRODUCE more; be HEALTHIER; live LONGER; be HAPPIER (by far).... and you will be much RICHER -- in the things of life that really matter. The DOWNSIDE, of course, is that almost everyone else will be jealous of you.... and may resent your attitudes, your bearing, your appearance, your "success", and your ways. And so -- YOU must decide the way you will go. No other human-being can decide for you. If you reject this "Nortonial" counsel .... you may then choose to follow your own "counsel".... and ALLOW YOURSELF to become slovenly, lazy, obese, somnolent, addicted to drink-or-drugs, physically unattractive, trapped by gambling.... and then you may find yourself to be sickly, poor, and unsuccessful. (Under those circumstances, of course.... no one will be jealous of you.) The choice is yours, only. As Maria Filisia (Nortonius's wife) and I say, to our "children" and to our friends and contacts.... "T.C.O.Y.N.E.C." (pronounced t'coy-nec) -- an acronym meaning "Take care of yourself.... nobody else can." Sometimes, we add D.A.L.O.Y. ("daloy") -- meaning "Demand a lot of yourself". If you consciously decide to "go-along", so that you can "get along" with the ordinary crowd.... then go-ahead.... choose the easy way -- "the road most travelled".... avoid the "narrow-gate" -- Make your decision to: drink and smoke; stuff your tasty-meals and snacks; shun exercise; and indulge-yourself widely in the now-prevalent "free-love". Guzzle your beer, sip your wine, savor your Jack Daniels; suck yo' snuff; smoke your weeds; get a lotta sleep.... and naps. Never work on the week-ends, and always reject extra work-hours.... and "outside" employment. Use-up all your "sick-days". Freeze yourself in a stagnant job. Throw-away your income on "fun-and-games".... like useless and wasteful "toys" and trips. Spend a lotta money on huntin'-and-fishin'. "INVEST" your savings in the fool's ADDICTION of gambling.... lotteries and scratchcards, slot-machines.... and "point-spreads". Spend a lot of your paycheck on the interest on your "maxed-out" credit-card debt. Convince yourself that "You only go this way once.... y'gotta get all the gusto you can. So, live-it-up.... 'cause when you're dead, you're done." And.... "Why worry about tomorrow, if today be sweet." And then, of course, later-in-life, when you have become disenchanted.... and dissatisfied with yourself, and your income, and your accomplishments, and your appearance, and your education, and your skills and talents.... BE A VICTIM.... BLAME someone ELSE -- especially your "domineering" parents.... or "the government", or (for some) the COLOR of your skin (link), or your schools, or your "genes", or "ADHD", or "bipolar disease"; or "chronic-fatigue-syndrome".... or blame your spouse.... or "luck", or life, or the "roll-of-the-dice". Yes, BLAME somebody-anybody-anything for the personal choices that you yourself made.... for abbreviating your schooling and education; for slipping-off the cerebral growth-curve; for allowing "work-fatigue" to creep into your attitudes; for getting into debt "up-to-your-ears"; for losing your enthusiasm; and for developing "bad habits". BLAME the world for your own failures, and deficiences. THEN.... when you're old enough to be considered "fully-grown", and you look around.... and you look back.... and you find yourself "alone" out there in the world, away from "home".... and "on your own".... and away from the aggravating CONTROL by your parents, and others.... REMEMBER this.... NO ONE, in this world, except you yourself, is really RESPONSIBLE for what you do.... and for what NOW happens to YOU. Try not to say, "If only I had known, then, what I know now."
There may be many people who genuinely care about you.... but they cannot "CONTROL" you now.... or change you.... and "they" are NOT responsible for your actions, and decisions.... and for your mistakes, and your "circumstances". You ARE where you ARE, now, today.... regardless of any-and-all previous underlying factors, decisions, and events that have established you in your current situation. As Maria Filisia frequently says.... you are always at the peak ["Point P"] -- on the apex of your own "Phyllisian Pyramid". ("Point P", on your own personal "pyramid", is now, today.... this very moment. Every prior formative event or condition or circumstance in your life is "encapsulated", irretrievably -- in the underlying "pyramid" of your personal existences.) Quoting parts of Ella Wheeler Wilcox's poem, "The Way of the World": "Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone. For the brave old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own. Be glad, and your friends are many. Be sad, and you lose them all. There is none to decline your nectared wine.... But, alone you must drink life's gall." There is room in the halls of pleasure For a long and lordly train; But one by one, we must all march on Through the narrow aisle of pain. So.... "children".... think about all this, now.... as your "life" progresses. What are your thoughts? What is your decision? Look at your current (today's) choices. Where are you headed? Solidify your plans for the future. Change what needs to be changed. It ain't ever too late ! Read on, below.... for more of Nortonius's notions, and "advice" -- and wisdom.... and "SMART-LOVE". II. "PERI-AMBULATION" of "Nortonius's Advice"… (SEE closely related link If you accept, you teach.) I. WORK PAYS -- productive work; financially-rewarding jobs; instructive spare-time activities.... seven-days-a-week. (Here are three quotations ascribed to "Voltaire" [Francois Marie Arouet], concerning "work": 1. "One must give one's self all the occupation one can, to make life supportable in this world.... The further I advance in age, the more I find work necessary. It becomes in the long run, the greatest of pleasures; and takes the place of the ILLUSIONS of life." 2. "If you do not want to commit suicide.... always have something to do." 3. "Not to be occupied, and not to exist, amount to the same thing. All people are good.... except those who are idle.") II. AVOID DEBT.... Fight against wasteful interest payments. Avoid "charge-cards", unless you pay-in-full at the end of each month. Save; invest; compound your interest; re-invest your dividends. Never invade your savings and investments.... especially for frivolous expenditures. Do not let yourself and your family become "house-poor" (by trying to buy and support a "bigger" house than you can logically afford). III. INHERITANCE -- a potentially harmful legacy CLICK HERE to see an EXPANDED VERSION of this section on "INHERITANCE" (isolated on a separate page, in "Easy-Print" format). Ecclesiastes 2: 18 (NRSV) I hated all my toil in which I had toiled under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to those who come after me.... 19 and who knows whether they will be wise or foolish? Yet they will be master of all for which I toiled and used my wisdom, under the sun. This also is vanity. 20 So I turned and gave my heart up to despair concerning all the toil of my labors under the sun, 21 because sometimes one who has toiled with wisdom and knowledge and skill must leave all to be enjoyed by another.... who did not toil for it. This also is vanity and a great evil. 22 What do mortals get from all the toil and strain with which they toil under the sun? 23 For all their days are full of pain.... and their work is a vexation. Even at night, their minds do not rest. This also is vanity. 24 There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God; 25 for apart from Him, who can eat, or who can have enjoyment? Everyone should live his or her life as though there will never, ever be a financial or material enrichment.... based upon the DEATH of a member of the family. IF a member of your family, during his or her lifetime, or in a last-will-and-testament, voluntarily chooses to share a portion of his assets with you.... be grateful. But.... never give the impression that you are being "nice", and helpful, and "loving", to an elder member of your family (or to your "in-laws").... in hopeful anticipation of an early post-mortem, un-earned benefit to you.... yourself. Parents have no obligation to "pass-on" their life's earned assets to their offspring. Similarly, a bequest from your parents, or from your "in-laws".... is not an ENTITLEMENT to you. Nortonius firmly believes that the hope of enrichment related to inheritance, after the DEATH of a "dear-one", deprives the potential beneficiary of ambition.... and depletes the hopeful recipient's "drive" to succeed. Furthermore, the promise of un-earned (or un-deserved) riches may lead an individual to waste his own current income.... like throwing-away his cash on alcohol, or gambling.... or useless trips-and-travel.... or huntin'-and-fishin'. You, dear "children", must IGNORE ALL plans and hopes of financial gain related to INHERITANCE.... You must not count-on inheriting anything. Don't envision your own early-retirement, or enhancement of your personal "estate".... by depending-upon a death-acquisition of someone else's "earthly possessions".... which you hope and plan to possess -- for yourself. IF something "good" or comforting comes to you, because of someone else's DEMISE.... then enjoy your "fate".... but do NOT construct the success of your middle and late years, with a "sweepstakes" dream of financial "comfort" and security.... based upon the hopefully-anticipated "departure" of someone in your family. PLAN your life, and your WORK, and your efforts, and your HABITS, and your SAVINGS, and your personal INVESTING.... as if there will be absolutely no inheritance. AND.... remember this: It is much better to have aging parents that are "comfortably independent" with their own assets.... than it is to have poverty-stricken parents who are "hostilely dependent".... on you ! ! ! Maria Filisia (Nortonius's wife) adds a very important point, about "inheritance". If someone's parents have no residual "wealth" to share or "pass-on".... then the "heirs" have no reason to ponder Nortonius's advice about inheritance. That is, if there is no significant estate.... then the mature and proper and "involved" heirs must rely-upon "love", obligation, understanding, responsibility, charity, and "religious" duty.... or PITY.... to generate a caring "interaction" between "children" and their aging parents. III B. GIFTS from Nortonius, and from Maria Filisia.... to our offspring.... during our lifetimes. (Pre-DEATH gifts, legacies, and patrimony as a part of Nortonius's children's "inheritance".) 9/2/03; 9/5/03; 9/11/03; 9/13/03; 2/17/04; 2/21/04; 2/23/04; 7/17/04.... The following is an "afterthought" that Maria Filisia and I decided to "insert" at this point in this lengthy document. We like to think that our most valuable LEGACY to our children began when Filisia and I were placed.... by God.... into each others lives. Our "children" have already been the "beneficiaries" of countless blessings from God (genetically-induced blessings). Maria Filisia and I realize that we had very little to do with most of these blessings.... we have simply served as "God's hands".... for His purpose, and intention. (See link What do you posses that you did not receive as a gift.) There is no need for our four offspring to await our demise, in order to receive a huge "inheritance" from Nortonius and Filisia. (And, incidentally, Filisia and I have recalled a fascinating truth.... the fact that both she and I, as we were being "raised" in our own early families, long before we met each other.... were the "beneficiaries" of almost exactly the same "huge inheritance" from our own parents, before their deaths, that we have "passed-on" to our offspring during our lifetime.... an "inheritance" that is described, below.) Consider the following unbelievably rich "legacy", which Nortonius and Maria Filisia received from their parents.... and which has already been bestowed upon each of our 4 children: Our children were born in the United States of America. Our children have lived almost all their lives in Alabama, in "The South".... thank goodness. Our children were "born white" to "white" parents (not Oriental, African, Indian, Hispanic). (We realize, of course, that no one in our family had any part in choosing the color of our skin; or our "nation-of-origin".) Our children were born with (they "inherited") healthy and attractive bodies, and good "teachable" minds. Our children were born to parents who are "spiritually" oriented.... parents who have regularly attended "church".... parents who accompanied their children to Sunday School, and church.... virtually every Sunday. Our children were born to parents who have been long-time, serious students of "religion", spiritual development, and the Bible. Our children were born to parents who did not leave their children in the care of other people. (Our children, until they were nearly grown, accompanied us on virtually every trip or vacation that we ever took.) Our children were born to intelligent and well-schooled parents.... who spent endless hours instructing the children in reading, and math, and "English".... long before the children attended school. Our children were born to parents who know and understand and write and speak virtually flawless English. Our children were born to parents who have always emphasized "brain-exercise" for themselves, and for their children.... including much reading, original writing, detailed study, and contemplation. Our children were born to parents who stay "involved" with current events, politics, and the economy. Our children were born to parents who never had psychological ailments, or psychiatric illness. Our children were born to parents who have never smoked.... never consumed alcohol or drugs.... and who have never wasted time and money on gambling. Our children were born to parents who have always participated in a daily, planned, physical exercise program. Our children were born to parents who have always been "diet conscious", and who have always controlled their own body-weight, within narrow and normal limits. (See link: Weight-control and Dieting, by John N. Todd III, M. D.) Our children were born to parents who were always gainfully employed.... frequently seven-days-a-week.... parents who understand the necessity of full-time work in order to succeed, and to be able to afford and acquire special luxuries, and to be "happy". (Maria Filisia has proven herself, for a lifetime, to be an absolutely indefatigable worker.) Our children were born to parents who have always saved and invested.... and who have zealously avoided DEBT. Yes, our children were indeed BORN rich.... rich in the things of life that really matter. (Filisia has noted that an offspring's awareness of these inbred and innate "legacies" should logically be expected to impose upon an intelligent "recipient" an appreciation of his or her "inheritance".... and an understanding of the necessity of responding appropriately to those pre-ordained gifts and blessings.... and the importance of "utilizing" correctly the wealth of these "inborn" assets.) (See link Individuation by God.) We will add to this interpolated section on "pre-death" legacy, as other thoughts come to mind. Now, I want to share more of Nortonius's Notions.... about our history of sharing our monetary and "physical" assets, during our lifetimes, with our "children" (and their spouses, where applicable}. I will mention certain valuable gifts.... one or more brand-new cars, for each of our children; personal trucks from Nortonius; Rolexes (men's "Presidential", and women's "Lady President"); expensive computers; annual trips to the Masters Golf Tournament, at our expense; top-of-the-line Western boots; YachtClub initiation fees, and monthly costs; yearly season-tickets to University-of-Alabama basketball games; costly holiday presents, and special-occasion gifts; jewelry (Mikimoto pearls, beautiful high-priced diamond crosses, etc.); cameras (like a Nikon F3 and an F4, and Sony digital cameras for each offspring); paintings (Basil Ede, Rick Rush, James Conner); funding of "individual retirement accounts", at our expense, for two of our "children"; converting ownership of valuable rental property to each of our offsprings; and funding individual "irrevocable trusts", for each of our children, by tranferring very significant portions of our personal assets to these "trusts". The children of Nortonius and Maria Filisia attended private K-12 schools. Our children attended private colleges; and never incurred any cost or debt to themselves. (Our two daughters "dropped-out" of college.... for matrimony.) Earlier in the lives of our family, my wife and I and our four children enjoyed the following marvelous blessings: 1. We made 14 annual week-long luxurious summer-trips to the resort area, "Callaway Gardens". in Georgia. 2. We purchased a costly 18-foot "Cobalt" inboard-outboard power-boat, and kept it at a large local lake, in a dry-dock for safe-keeping.... and my wife and I personally "learned-with", and instructed our children, repeatedly, in skillful water-skiing.... and safe-driving of our speed-boat. Some of our chidren received advanced instruction in water-skiing, at Callaway Gardens, Georgia. 3. At one time, our children owned and operated seven motor-bikes.... all "housed" at our residence in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. 4. We purchased a four-bedroom house on the Gulf of Mexico, at Panama City beach, so that our family could enjoy this marvelous area, any time, at our own leisure.... at no cost to the "children". 5. We bought and developed, along with the company and participation of our children, two farms (one 160 acres [Hale County]; the other 205 acres [Bibb County]).... each with a "livable" house, where we frequently stayed overnight and weekends. Our family planted more than 2000 apple-trees, and 200 Santa Rosa plum trees at our Bibb County farm. We bought two new Ford tractors.... one for each farm.... and all of us learned to drive tractors, and to "BushHog".... on both farms.... and we all learned to use large augers to plant fruit trees. The younger members of our family frequently spent much time cruising on their motor-bikes, on these farms. These facts are being recalled and mentioned, so that "all-concerned", in our family, can be reminded.... and remember the history of our "pre-death" voluntary sharing and giving to those who, thankfully, were "placed", by God, in our lives. Sometimes, recently, Nortonius and Maria Filisia have felt that the recipients of our frequent gifts to our offspring (now grown) and their spouses, have become more resentful than appreciative of our "generosity". In some cases, there seems to be an "expectant" attitude.... as if some beneficiaries are wondering "why don't you do more for me, now?" Or, "I want your stored assets now -- not when I'm 50 or 60 years old." (This perceived-attitude toward us parents, the "seniors", can be very distressing.... and may generate an element of "resistance" on our part.... if not a frank ill-will toward a hopeful "receiver".) My wife and I have developed a fuller understanding of the adage: "The more you give-away.... the more you take-away". Later, in this section of this document, Nortonius also wants to explain.... for those in the family who haven't yet "gotten the message".... the importance we place upon consideration of death, disease, disability, debt, divorce, and delayed gratification -- in the lives of our offspring, and their spouses.... as we, Nortonius and Filisia, contemplate sharing our assets.... during our remaining years in this life-on-earth.... with the potential recipients of our gifts and bequests. Also, Nortonius will try to explain that "control" of our "grown" offspring, has NO PART in our thoughts about sharing our assets. (Of course, it goes without saying, that if one or more of our "beneficiaries" should become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, unreasonable debt.... or to uncompensated "idleness".... then our attitude would become drastically altered.... for we would not choose to participate in the financing of activites that we consider to be unacceptable, or intolerable to us.) Nortonius will attempt to show the correlation of our pre-death sharing, with our post-death bequests. Maria Filisia and Nortonius have always hoped to "share" with our offspring, in such a way that we do NOT HARM those who are the potential recipients of a portion of our assets. Nortonius wants to state again that there is absolutely NO entitlement, by anyone's "grown" offspring or their spouses, to receive a share of the assets of their parents, or their "in-laws". Nortonius and Filisia have always understood, during the early lives of our children, that there is obviously a requirement that we parents provide for the needs of our children. Later, we discovered that luxurious gifts may become a part of what parents freely decide-upon, and lovingly supply to their offspring, early in adult life.... depending upon the relative wealth of the parents -- and clearly dependent upon the propriety of the behavior, responses, reinforcement, and gratitude of the "children" (offspring). Later in our lives, we finally awakened and discovered that when "children" leave home, and develop their own lives, and professions, and plans, and wealth.... there is no longer a need or necessity for the parents to continue showering their children with expensive gifts. During the early years of a child's life, a year-round "Santa-Claus-from-parents" is certainly proper, if affordable. Later, a Santa-Clausian attitude must be abandoned.... by parents and children.... except insofar as simple fun and pleasure and genuine LOVE may lead parent and child into a logical "swapping" of gifts.... and into a reciprocal interactive affection. There is absolutely NO life-long duty of parents to continue a one-way process of donating to their "children".... especially if some offsprings have learned to "expect" generous gifts from the parents.... an "expectation" even to the point that resentment develops in some children (and in-laws) if the process of receiving gifts from the parents is decreased, delayed, or curtailed. Nortonius and Maria Filisia have a particular aversion toward giving cash money to our offsprings, and/or their spouses. Cash, donated for a certain specific item, can sometimes be "diverted" by the recipient, to other expenditures.... like huge credit-card debt, or alcohol, or gambling. Furthermore, cash supplements in significant amounts (to a hopeful recipient) can lead to a lazy and non-productive IDLENESS (lack of gainful employment) on the part of the recipients. We have begun to realize, already, that the "passing-on" of our assets, while we remain alive (and cognizant), has generated varying degrees of hostility, anger, resentment, jealousy, greed, misunderstanding, and sibling-rivalry.... not only among our "children", but also in some others who are in our "extended family". In that regard, we must hasten to add, that some members in our family have responded to us, and with us.... in very, very appropriate (and caring) ways.... and we are extremely mindful of, and appreciative of, those individuals.... and we enjoy a reciprocal sharing with them. And so, Nortonius and Maria Filisia will soon (later) embark additionally on this prolonged expository.... explaining further that which has been laid-out in the few paragraphs, above. More will follow. OTHER THOUGHTS AND NOTIONS... TO BE DISCUSSED, LATER IV.a. UNDERSTAND and remember: "Delayed gratification". b. AND... UNDERSTAND and remember: "Acquistion of ASSETS". (These points will be extrapolated, here, soon.) V. Weight control (see this important link). Weigh daily; count calories; eat the proper foods, in the correct amounts.... based on your own metabolic rate. Understand and guard your caloric consumption for health, for energy.... and for your appearance, and your self-esteem, and your pride.... and hence for your success. VI. Beware of the ubiquitous "venereal" diseases.... associated with wild and unguarded "sex-love". Remember the "STD's".... especially AIDS, herpes genitalis, hepatitis; (not to mention widespread chlamydia; syphilis; gonorrhea). VII. Be a good "receiver"; avoid "splashing" (refusing or rejecting) your "donors", and inviters. Always express thanks and gratitude -- in the proper manner, preferably in writing. VIII. TO POLONIUS: I do not agree with you that one should "never a borrower or lender be". Of course, "borrowing" should be restricted.... as I have already indicated. "Lending" is an extremely helpful and honorable way to "make money", for yourself.... and to help others -- especially if you closely "investigate" and monitor and trust those to whom you are lending. Remember, nowadays, in the 21st century.... investing in corporate bonds, and U. S. Treasury bonds, and in preferred stocks.... as a means of being a successful "lender". I will extrapolate these points, later. IX. "Save your good advice -- for those who CAN use it.... and for those who WILL use it" -- as Maria Filisia and I learned, early in our married life. Ponder this truth. X. If you accept -- you teach (see link). If you refuse to accept -- you also teach. XI.a. "The more you give away.... the more you take away". THINK about this Toddian truth. Can you think of the several "circumstances" where this truth applies. b. Mama T's axiom -- an obvious truth: "Success ends, when ambition dies." c. "The apple falls not far from the tree".... an inescapable TRUTH. d. The Dr. John Hanby Principle: Throughout your lifetime, you will have many chances -- almost every day -- when you come to a fork-in-the-road, to say to yourself, "Should I go the right way, or the other way". You will have these "challenges", time-and-again, to discipline yourself..... and to "Prove the Point" of your personal determination and "control". You must decide -- every time -- to go the "right" way. There are potentially dreadful penalties, for choosing the "wrong" way. No one else can make these choices, for you. (Nortonius addendum to this point: For all of your life, you will have to live with the consequences of the day-by-day decisions you make.... right or wrong.) e. Concerning this same point.... see what is said in "The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam": "The moving finger writes -- And having writ, moves on. Nor all thy piety nor wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a line -- Nor all thy tears wash out a word of it." f. "The Chitwood Principle" -- "If you behave in a certain way for long enough.... you become that way." XII. Children, and adolescents, and adults-with-childish-minds.... cannot make mature decisions that depend upon experience, study, and intellectual development. Guidance, instruction, and discipline are frequently necessary for "undeveloped" and un-taught minds. Avoid ALCOHOL (see this important link) -- and avoid all OTHER mind-altering and habituating substances.... forever. No exceptions. NEVER take sleeping-pills, and "tranquilizers". Many physicians flippantly prescribe these pills. Avoid all medications -- except those that are clearly needed, such as antibiotics, blood-pressure pills, cholesterol medications, etc. Avoid surgeons, and surgery, unless life-saving. Many, many surgical operations are done, not for the genuine benefit of the patient.... but for the financial benefit and gain of the surgeon. Surgeons treat disease with surgery. Don't go to see a surgeon for diagnosis of an illness. If you do, some so-called "need" for surgery may be proclaimed, by the surgeon. (Years ago, one of my surgeon-friends said to me, "Operations are to sell; not to buy". Think about it.) DEVELOP the ADDICTION of daily, sustained physical exercise..... every day -- regardless of the weather.... no less than 35 continuous minutes, each day. Include running (outdoors), weights, exercise equipment, and "floor exercises" (sit-ups, push-ups, leg-lifts, etc.). Train for physical endurance. BRAIN-EXERCISE; lifelong -- reading; studying; memorizing; composing. STAY in "SCHOOL".... never complete your "formal" education. Expand your talents; develop new skills. Never feel that you have learned enough; Read and study.... not just novels and "funnies", but serious didactic and thought-provoking material; Compose and write: Emphasize grammer, syntax, sentence structure. Develop "music appreciation". Learn to play the piano (it's never too late). Sing a lot.... it's good for you, and it's relaxing. Sing with others (if you can "carry-a-tune"). Attend concerts, and lectures, and other instructional events. Study, meditate, and contemplate. Keep-up with current events. Maintain awareness and involvement in POLITICS. Take a serious and thoughtful political position; discuss frequently with others. Television, and radio: The obvious.... Watch "educational" programs as much as possible and logical. Emphasize C-SPAN, and Public Television, and financial programs. Select your favorite talk-radio shows. Minimize all the goofy radio-stuff.... and useless "sedative" music programs. Minimize and habituate your sleep routine. Alter your "rest" habits; and reduce napping. (Proverbs 6: 9 (NRSV) How long will you lie there, O lazybones? When will you rise from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest.... 11 and poverty will come upon you, like a robber.... and want, like an armed warrior.) Save and invest; re-invest dividends. Never "raid" your savings and investments. Avoid becoming "house-poor" (more expensive house, and greater house-payments than you can logically afford). Keep-up with the stock-market.... and the economy. Make your own investment decisions.... using trusted information sources. LOVE THYSELF; develop personal pride; self-discipline. Tcoy-nec.... "Take care of yourself; no one else can." "Dress for the job you want.... not for the job you have".... for, as Polonius averred in his "advice": "Apparel oft proclaims the man". And, concerning attire and grooming, and weight, and "shape" -- make yourself look better than all the others.... because of your indwelling pride, and self-discipline.... and because of your hope and plan for advancement, and for success. Smile a lot.... even when you don't feel like smiling. Smiling is contagious. Pretend, if you must. Beautify your SMILE. Develop and "demonstrate" a good sense of humor. Exercise your "muscles of facial expression". Exercise your "extra-ocular muscles". AVOID ALL GAMBLING.... no lottery, or scratchcards, or "point-spread" gambling. Gambling is only for fools. You cannot beat the odds (the likelihood of winning). REFUSE secret purchases that you are not willing to tell your spouse or family about. MARRY the person of your dreams. Have children.... and discover one of the truly great pleasures and enlightenments of your life, in this world. Don't plan to spend your homelife, and your real life.... alone. Develop your own religious (spiritual) understanding.... not just what someone else tells your must "believe". Maintain a lifelong search for God, and "truth". (Your "religious" understanding will change and evolve, as your life progresses.... and as you are led-along by Almighty God, who has a plan and purpose for each of His people (link); and as you become more "experienced", and more familiar with "the-facts-of-life".... and as you become awakened more and more, about this world, and about death and disease.... and about "human-ness", and other human-beings.... and about "human-nature".) BIBLE (see link Gold Standard) -- familiarize yourself with the Bible, regardless of your current religious or spiritual understanding.... and irrespective or your current church affiliation. Every well-read person will be intimately familiar with the words of the Bible. Your ability to interpret the Bible will grow, with more and more study and contemplation. PRAY.... develop a communication with our Creator. (See link Prayer and praying.) Learn to use both right-hand, and left-hand, including hand-writing. MORE of all this will FOLLOW, later. (A fun thought) -- "With all thy getting.... get the geetus". III. "POST-AMBULATION" of "Nortonius's Advice" ( Nortonius's summary and "SERMON" ) Initial thoughts for this section.... to be revised and extrapolated, frequently: If you, yourself, are not "man-enough" to discipline yourself, and to "control" yourself.... your own behavior, your "appetites", your habits, your appearance, your mental and "intellectual" development.... then who-in-the-world can do it for you? If you, yourself, are not "in-command".... then go ahead -- yield yourself to the "forces-of-nature"; and accept whatever befalls you. But.... do not BLAME anyone or anything, except yourself. Consider this: when you have completed your "childhood training" at home, does it then become someone else's duty and responsibility to protect you, and to "understand" you.... and to "accept" and forgive your foibles and failures? And.... in your opinion of yourself.... if you feel that you have not "succeeded" in life, and if you feel that you are not now making a "livable-wage", according to your own standards.... does it then become the obligation of your family or "society", to compensate you.... because you dropped out of school, or because (you say) your parent(s) didn't guide and discipline you appropriately.... or because of the various shortcomings of "the system" in America? 11/13/05 |