Autothanatography...
by John N. Todd III, M.D.
(Doctor Todd's own "auto-obituary")

Personal thoughts that John N. Todd III, the author of this website, will want to be recalled about himself, at his funeral, on the day after his departure from this life.... plus a few remembrances that he would like to be included in the final remarks about him.

Selected from the on-going INTERNET BOOK, "The Doctor's Terrific Tablets"
( http://www.terrific-tabs.com )
by John N. Todd III, M. D. (link; About the author)


The web-link to this "tablet" is: http://www.terrific-tabs.com/print_obit.htm
To send a "live" link to a friend, copy and paste this web-link in an email message.

SEE related subjects:
REMEMBRANCES of the author (link)
And: About the AUTHOR (link)
And: What to you possess that was GIVEN to you? (link)
And see: My SECRET God (link)
And: The Doctor's Death-Note (link)

Initiated 1/9/05; "doctored" 1/10/05; 1/11/05; 1/14/05; 1/15/05; 1/16/05; 1/20/05; 1/25/05; 2/13/05; 2/14/05; 2/17/05; 3/05; 4/05' 10/05; 6/06; 11/06; 1/22/07

CLICK HERE to go to the "FRONT PAGE" of "The Doctor's Terrific Tablets"
CLICK HERE for ALPHABETICAL INDEX of this entire WEBSITE
CLICK HERE to EMAIL your thoughts to the author


Here lie the eartly remains of the soul-house of John N. Todd III, the world's most richly-blessed human-being.
Born in 1928, to an ideal mother and father;
Born as the younger sibling of a very smart and accomplished brother;
Born in the United States of America;
Born in "The South", in Alabama (God's Country);
Born with "white" skin (not by his "choice".... but assigned by our Creator-God).

John N. Todd III was guided, taught, awakened, directed, encouraged, "activated". protected, healed and cured, sustained, disciplined, and loved.... throughout his life.... by our Almighty God and Creator. In addition, he was given many absolutely unmerited blessings.... from God-the-Father.... for God's own purposes. (See link Stepping-stones, laid out by God.)

John N. Todd III was born with a healthy body,
and a good and teachable mind.... and a physically attractive appearance.
He was musicallly talented.... though untrained.
He was athletically skilled.
He was well-schooled.... through grade school, and undergraduate college, and medical school; and internship.... and through three additional years of specialty training in medical diagnosis and treatment. He was "Board Certified" in his specialty of Internal Medicine.

Many great people were led into the life of John Todd.... for God's own intention.

After being "raised" by two marvelous and dedicated parents (John N. Todd Jr. and Edith Alton Thomas Todd).... the greatest person, and the number ONE blessing in the adult life of John N. Todd III, was God's choice to be John's wife.... Mary Phyllis (Jackson) Todd (Registered Nurse).
Phyllis and John were married in 1959, after dating for three years. The indefatigable Phyllis became John Todd's lifelong sweetheart, mother-of-our-four-children, friend, bosom-buddy, inspiration, bedmate, golfing caddy, chum, political discussant, computer expert, financial advisor, business partner, philosophical cohort, chef & cook, laundress, home-decorator, button-sewer, chaffeur, treasurer & bookkeeper, spiritual counsellor, personal nurse.... and masseuse. (My brother once told me that I am married to my "slave". The truth is.... my wife is married to her slave.... me, JNT.)

John and his wife were allowed to have four magnificent children (girl 1960; boy 1962; girl 1964; boy 1967).... all born with handsome and healthy bodies, good brains, and splendid personalities.... four children who grew into productive and successful adult citizens (all four are now "off our payroll").... four offspring as different from each other as North, South, East, and West.

John Todd was a successful physician.... for 7 years in the United States Air Force as a medical officer.... and then for 25 years, in "solo" private practice in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He enjoyed every minute of his medical career, before retiring in 1987.

John was also a successful business-man and investor, during his years in medical practice.... and after retiring. John and his wife and family were given by God (link) "material" blessings far beyond their hopes and dreams.

John was a lifelong student of "religion" and "theology". He also was a persistent student of God's Bible.... dating-back to his initial college days at Huntingdon College, in Montgomery, Alabama. John discussed and "documented" his personal "spiritual" thoughts, and his Biblical "decipherings", in a lengthy Internet book, The Doctor's Terrific Tablets (link).

More will be added to this "autothanatography".... as "life", in this world, progresses and culminates.


The following "suicide note" (see below) was posted here on 6/5/06.

I was hospitalized on 5/29/06 because of sudden tachycardia (rapid heart rate), which awoke me at about 7:00 AM. I felt moderately severe substernal chest pain, in association with the tachycardia.

At the hospital, I was found to have atrial flutter-fibrillation. This rhythm disturbance "converted" to normal rhythm, after several hours of IV therapy with a "calcium channel blocking agent".

On the morning of the next day, I had cardiac catheterization. I was found to have partial blockage of one of three previous venous grafts.... from a "bypass" operation which was done 13 years.

The partially obstructed graft was dilated; and a "stent" was inserted by my cardiologist, Dr. William Hill. A partially obstructed "native" coronary artery could not be reached for dilating and stenting.

I was discharged from the hospital on 5/31/06, at about 7:00 AM. As would be expected, I felt bad all day.... and I stayed in my bedroom. During the night of the first day back at home, the cardiac tachy-arrhythmia recurred. I chose not to go back to the hospital, for more chemical therapy, and/or electrical "cardioversion". My attitude was that I had come to the age when I could expect one cardiac complication after another. I vehemently refused to consider a repeat coronary bypass.... realizing that 78 year-old patients do not tolerate a repeat bypass.... with particular reference to the possibility of neurological damage.... associated with cerebral impairment.... with concomitant impaired thought-processes, and/or "motor" (mobility) defects.

I chose to consider "death" as a much more desirable option.

In addition to my longstanding cardiac problems, i have had "traditional" or typical degenerative bone and joint symptoms.... compatible with my age. Also, while in the hospital, last week, I was found to be mildly anemic.... and I was found to have another one or two "chemcal" abnormalities on my blood "profile".

I chose not to pursue those possible manifestations of underlying malignant abnormalities. I simply do not want to spend the last few days or weeks of my life, going back-and-forth to the lab, or to "x-ray", or to chemo-therapy.... or to various doctors' offices for gastroscopy, colonoscopy, various biopsies (prostate, etc); and for all the other diagnostic studies which offer very little toward prolonging pleasant and functional existence.

Perhaps I would not mind undergoing some of the annoying diagnostic studies, if I knew that I had access to "physician-assisted-suicide" (PAS).... under my control and decision. Of course, PAS is not available in 49 of 50 states of the USA..... so a desperately sick or dying individual must simply suffer, and "wither on the vine" for several months.... or shorten his own suffering in some ghastly manner (gun-blast; noose; drowning).

(See very important link Physician-Assisted-Suicide, by the author of this website.)

(I still do not understand why humane and brave, merciful, and dignified death (with "physician-assisted-suicide") cannot be legally allowed for those intelligent and cognizant and alert individuals who voluntarily choose that means of "exodus" from life... in this world.

Now.... here is a copy of a hand-written suicide not that I wrote and presented to my wife, on June 1, 2006. This marvelous wife of 47 gorgeous years -- hand-picked for me by Almighty God -- does not relish the thought of losing me.... but she fully understands and accepts my feelings about "hell-on-earth".... my attidude about spending several months of misery, simply waiting for death to happen.

Will I kill myself.... with a gunshot blast inside the mouth? Maybe not. I have tried to prepare myself. I hope I have "prepared" my lifetime partner.... and the others who were given to us.


My hand-written "suicide-note" of 6/1/06 begins here:

Dear love-of-my-life....

As you know well… based on our numerous discussions… I am not willing to prolong the suffering I have been having with heart problems, tachyarrhythmias, chest pain.... plus the skeletal symptoms, with intense bone pain (left thigh, back, lumbar disc, etc.).

I wish sudden cardiac arrest would supervene, and take me to "the next level".... and that remains a possibility. The likelihood, though, is that I will have a slower dying process.... with chest pain, paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea, cardiac rhythm problems.... plus symptoms related to bone disease.... possibly from metastatic carcinoma to the bones (? prostatic, or other).

Phyllis, it may become necessary for me to "accelerate" the process of departure from this life. Since our existing laws prevent "physician-assisted-suicide", I may find it necessary to consider suicide, with a gunshot blast to the head.

That sounds horrible, I know, but not as horrible as going back and forth to various physicians.... and undergoing countless useless procedures, none of which can significantly prolong productive and pleasant life in a 78 year-old man.

As you know, "The function of medical science is to prolong the quality of life.... not to prolong agony and suffering." And.... "Life is qualitative … not quantitative."

Phyllee, you have been the dearest human in my life.... for 50 years (47 years and 3).
Let's plan to continue our love together, in the life-to-come. I plan to be with you, forever and ever.

JNT 3


1/22/07
The following two segments were copied from my web-page Facing Death (link).


6/1/06.... Midnight....
Once again, Dr. Todd.... the author of this website.... is contemplating suicide.... because of multiple symptoms, which make life almost unbearable.

I was discharged from the hospital today, two days after emergency admission.... for chest-pain, and atrial flutter-fibrillation. Coronary angioplasty was done yesterday (5/31/06), and a single "stent" was inserted into one of the three previously (1993) inserted venous bypass grafts.

At yesterday's angioplasty, two native coronary arteries were found to be partially obstructed. Dr. Hill was unable to dilate or "stent" these two arteries. (Before the angioplasty, yesterday, I refused to give authorization to Dr. Hill for consideration of any "open-heart" surgical procedure. I refused to consider surgical consultation, and I rejected any further surgical "whittling" on my body. My wife (PJT) co-signed my restricted authorization for angioplasty.... and we obtained photocopies of our signed authorization.

New medications have been initiated, by Dr. Hill (cardiologist). These medications, for the cardiac rhythm problem, and for the post-angioplasty recovery period.... have generated malaise, and anorexia, and weakness.

In addition to the cardiac problems, I have suffered, for three or four years, with various aches and pains.... especially in the left leg and knee, and recurrently in the back. My long-standing jogging program has become markedly restricted.

In adddition, mild symptoms of prostatism have developed recently.... possibly a manifestation of carcinoma of the prostate.

I have spoken to God.... and have requested that God stay with me.... and that I be allowed to stay with Him. Obviously, I will go where I am taken.... by my Creator.

Signed.... John N. Todd III


1/20/07; 1:00 AM

Progress note....

On October 27, 2006, I suffered a fall from a curb in a "McDonalds" parking-lot. In that fall, I rotated by body, as I hit the pavement. I landed on my left hip, and suffered a good bit of immediate hip-pain. I got-up, with help; got into our car; and came home.... with the ever-present assistance of PJT (Phyllis J. Todd).... my dear wife, and nurse (RN), and comrade, and friend. When I arrived at home, and hobbled into the house, it became evident that I had suffered more that a simple bruise. There was severe pain in the hip-area.... especially with attempted weight-bearing.

There was no other injury related to the fall.

That night, after the fall, and injury.... I chose not to go to the hospital "emergency-room", to (thus) begin a long batch of tests and "procedures" ("whittling") on my body.

I stayed in bed, at home, for a day or two. Then, with the help of a walker, I began to hobble-around the house. Within a few days, I became able to hobble to the dinner-table, and to the bathroom. I was soon able to get in-and-out of our car, for rides accompanying my wife, on her errands.

In the middle of December 2006, I went to see my orthopedic specialist, Dr. Buckley. (I previously saw him in November 2003.) Dr. Buckley obtained the usual x-rays of hip, knees, and pelvis. It was discovered that I had indeed suffered a fracture of the left hip, in an area of some type of pathlogic process in the surrounding bone.... presumably primary or metastatic carcinoma of the bone.

Dr. Buckley made all of the proper recommendations to me (and my wife) concerning biopsies, various MRI's, operations, chemotherapy.... etc. I explained to Dr. Buckley that I was not willing to undergo all of those procedures, at my age (78).... procedures which almost certainly would not prolong my existence, or my ability to function.

With my wife's agreement, I opted for no additional evaluation or treatment of the underlying pathological process.

Soon after my injury, I had several day-long episodes of atrial fibrillation, associated with anginal chest pain. I took Digoxin for a few days, with each of those episodes. My cardiac rhythm "converted" to normal, quickly, with this therapy.

One night, in November, at midnight, in bed, I had an episode of severe chest pain.... lasting 70 minutes.... associated with sweating, and vomiting. Again, I opted for no hospitalization. The chest pain finally subsided. Since that episode of what was most likely to have been a myocardial infarction, I have been free of anginal chest pain.... except after meals, while hobbling-around on my walker.

Strangely (or miraculously), the pain in my left hip and left quadriceps, largely faded-away. I still use the walker, and I bear very little weight on the left leg. But, amazingly, I have almost no pain in the leg. I am able to climb steps cautiously, by hanging-on to banisters. I no longer have bachache.

I have no pain at night. I take no pain medications. My only medications are Propranolol for the ASHD; and Lasix (for moderate bilateral dependent edema of both legs and feet); and Altace, 5mg. daily, for its "ACE-inhibiting" effect on salt and water retention. About 3 months ago, I stopped the warfarin that I had been taking for 13 years.... and I discontinued my lipid-control medication, Vytorin.

As of this date, I feel reasonably good. My "psychological" outlook is good. I enjoy my various computer-activities. I have a good appetite. No intestinal or bowel complaints. No urinary symptoms, except nocturia two or three times nightly.

I continue to hope and pray that my "terminal event" will be swift and easy.... but, obviously, there is no way to predict.

My wife and I are grateful to have been given "extra days" to prepare for the inevitable day. We have thanked Almighty God, over and over, for the time we have been allowed to be together.... now slightly more than 50 years (married for 47 years). We are especially grateful to have been extra given time, recently, to prepare for the moment when PJT will have to begin to "carry-on", alone.

Suicide will not be contemplated for now.... but will come back into consideration if the manifestations of disease bring-about unbearable symptoms.

John N. Todd III
1/20/07

5/1/06; 1/20/07